Nails arent' yummy when they're found in your ICE CREAM...

...they're actually SO DISGUSTING. It's very disturbing to be enjoying your root beer float-and then finding a nail that is obviously not yours because all your nails are intact and on your hand as they should be. My teeny-ness is really getting to me now, I'm starting to freak myself out! I haven't posted in a while, reason being, my mother and father think "grounding me from the computer" is a really good punishment, even though they give you the password for the computer anyway. I'm kind of disappointed that I can't go to new Orleans with my school, I was actually really hoping to go, it was kind of last minute and I still didn't have a passport picture and oh well, there's always next time isn't there? I've been doing a lot better in school now, and the whole songwriting thing has been going meeh. HARHARHAR, check out my new "rap" on TJ ISLAME's blog; http://tanjana13.livejournal.com/18735.html#cutid1, really, it's cool, we're going to make it into a record and it will sell out, just wait! AND, I'm going to see WE WILL ROCK YOU next Sunday, yaaaay!

Quote of the month...; "you will succeed in whatever you choose to pursue"- Fortune Cookie.
I actually really like the "fortune" it gives me some sort of hope that no matter what, I can still hold on to my dreams and maybe even succeed.

I really, really badly wish to be in LA, oh my, daydreaming isn't going so well with me, I'm too much of a dreamer aren't I?
OH! And I have the perfect band name; DAYDREAMERS ! I thought it was pretty cool...oh, pfft, don't talk!

I'm starting "the chronicles of the memoirs of a girl named Jessica" in my agenda, it's this whole story thing about my life and where I think I'm going to end up and what and where I believe I will be, including the destiny I believe that I will fulfill.

Someone, please take me to see JB3D again... :)
I really wish I lived in the states this weekend, I truly do.
GAAAAH, they should come to Canada theaters too!

Is there anymore peach jelly ?

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE.
OHKAY, so it was frigging amazing, like holygee.
So at the last minute we got NAT* to come ;)
We journeyed the theater, which was HU-GE, it was super high too, I like died.
There was a room full of teenies, no lie.
They were upsetting me too, they had this trivia thing- and all these little girls get to go up to do it. THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW THEIR HOME TOWN, OR KEVIN'S FULL NAME. Like holy, why are you up there winning 50$ hmv gift cards and you don't even know ANYTHING!?
So, Jessica's obsession, has just gotten TWO HUNDRED times strongerrrrrr.
I'm still so hyper from the "concert hype", like legit, it felt like I was at the concert again- except I had backstage passes.

SO, ALL YOU LITTLE CHILDREN, GO WATCH IT, see why I love those boys so dearly. What ticked me off though, was NO ONE frigging cheered when Kevin's name came on the intro credits, I was like "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" and I'm pretty sure I was the only one who screamed, I felt like such a teenie. Then Nick and Joe's name come up, and it was like "OMG OMG OMG OMG, NICK!!!!!! I LOVE JOE!" -__-'. NO ONE knew who the band was, I died when they showed lawless and JT so many times, I needed more of Ryan's face than his back, and Garbo, garbo, frigg go out more! Joe is frigging hilarious in this movie, I missed that. Nick, Nick is trying to take my heart and put it on a shelf, Joe & Kevin go shirtless in one part ;) SHHHHH, Nick doesn't... Aw well, that's YOUR loss. Anyways, there was less people than I though, and ALOT less hype. RAN* was like jumping in her seat and everything, AL* was singing along to like eveything. TAYLOR SWIFT ALEHLBDKLAGKLSYLERHLKDGLIUSO, I'm so fregging jealous mang, she's so pretty in 3D. LAWLS, in 3D everything is hilarious. I'm not going to ruin it for you, but there's some pretty slick things in that movie, the acting, sorry to say, was horrendous, and I'm also sorry to add that Joe ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT conduct, NICK is frigging beast on those drums, he's actually so good. ROBERT FEGGANS, YOU ARE MY HERO, EVEN THOUGH YOU PUSH NICK WHILE YOU ARE "RAPPING" TO BURNIN' UP AND HE LOOKS LIKE IT HURT AND HE WAS GOING TO FALL, I LOVE YOU. Also, I think I saw myself running, NO LIE. I was like.... is that me? Probably not, but I can hope it was, can't I? There was this HUGE rumor that they were going to show up, it was kind of unbelievable since we were in Toronto and they were where, in LA or somewhere else.

DEMI DEMI DEMI ,I absolutely LOVE her, and she performed really good. We sat behind the "press" it was pretty funny, because the guy who was reviewing the movie was diagonal from us, he seemed, for a lack of better words, speechlessly amused. I was pretty disappointed that they didn't show love bug in the movie, like Frankie & James, they needed to be in that! NO BODY seemed to know the song "love is on it's way" I was like singing in the corner and all these girls are looking at me like I am crazy and I stalk them- WHICH I don't... Overall, the show was AMAZING, but it could've been longer, and ah well, I enjoyed myself, I'll admit I danced around and sang to like every song and clapped and screamed like I was at the concert, sigh, I'm such a dork. Now, go tell all your friends to watch it, trust, you won't regret it.



I still can not believe I won those tickets....

Jonas Brothers, Burnin' up tour, IN 3D.
DO NOT miss it ;)

absolutely horrendous.

life is at it's lowest at the moment.
I just want to crawl into a corner and get out of it.
I do not want to be here right now.
I have no friends, they desert me, leave me for my sister.
I don't even feel like going downtown alone, my parents are killing me.
NO ONE ever has to feel this crap that I have to.
It's not fair at all, although life isn't fair.
I stoop so low, yet, I feel like I'm at the top, too bad that's only in my head.
I don't want to go to school tomorrow AT ALL.
I'm on the verge of tears, not like you give a crap.
MY LIFE SUCKS. did you hear? I'm pretty sure you already knew that though.

The three(four) boys that usually help me through problems like this, can't, they are pretty much the cause of this whole fiasco in the first place. I'd really like a do over, you know, start a new life somehow, let's go back to when I was 5, things were always merrier back in those days. I honestly tried, I tried to make the best of it, and I still am, but it's never enough. FML FML FML FML.

Thanks mom for making everything so much better.
KILL ME, NOW.

I'll meet you by the bridge,

LKAGLASGDFLKAHEFAJKLEGFKLAGELS.
Hi. Well, today, was meeh.
So, I'm sorry for missing concert band practice, don't kill me.
Although, I think DC* will anyways, darnit. This sucks mang, when I saw him, I was like CRAP. SO, moving forward, JONAS BROTHERS PRESCREENING TOMORROW. YES YES YES. I feel like an obsessive little teenie. Frigg, I'm such a loner, I have one ticket left, I had four.....

GAAARH, MATH CLASS IS DEATH. Like legit, 75 minutes of very awkward silence. Let's use our I statements, like we learned in elementary, shall we ?
I feel exausted from fatigue.
I don't really know about tomorrow.
I need friends.
I thinkknow life hates me.
I want a life.
I wish I was famous.

So, I'm out for now.
My blog is being boring today.
I promise, TOMORROW, will be filled with excitement !

*names to be disclosed

ZOMG.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, so, I actually find this HILARIOUS.
Let's update my list of failures first;
One: I am failing math with a 48%, my mother is hiring a tutor, someone help me please!
Two; I am flat out broke, I owe 2$ to my sister, and I have no way of earning money.
Three; I need a job.
Four; I'm not a dancer, I'm a MUSICIAN, Although I am forced into Cultural dancing, HELLO, I don't plan on becoming a professional folk dancer!
Five; I'm not a very good musician.
Six; I'm the worst "dedicated" fan on the face of this planet.
Seven; I just realized I get jealous.
Eight; Single Pringle am I.
Nine; Right now I am missing the Oscar Red Carpet.
Ten; I can hardly see through my "new glasses"
Eleven; I'm not planning to see the Jonas Brothers 3-D.
Twelve; I'm hardly known at school.
Thirteen; I didn't exactly drop the "creeper status"
Fourteen; I didn't notice how many failures I've had.
Fifteen; I should do homework, but I left all my books at school.

LAWLS, so, I come home from my sister's birthday dinner, and I totally forgot about entering this contest right. So we're listening to our messages, and all of a sudden I hear "Message for Jessica" I'm like, what? Then I remember that I signed up for that contest ONLINE....

And it was hilarious, MY MOM freaked, she's like CALL NOW CALL NOW, I was like CALM DOWN CALM DOWN. Har har har, so, it turns out that the lines were closed for the night, so it was kinda depressing, but I am planning to call in the morning. I pretty much laughed at the irony, since I didn't plan on going AT ALL and now I won tickets to the prescreening- but I don't have anyone to go with yet.... Then my dad was like, oh my, I don't want to drive you. He has this thing with the Jonas Brothers. LAWLS, take that kids at school who broke my JB binder, eat it! So, that was my day in a nutshell, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTER WHO IS 16 TODAY, SHE'S AN OLD MAID!

LOVE YOU JENN. And this kid, KRAAD* broke my binder, he poked holes in the faces....Thank you for that, I honestly will cut out pictures from an old magazine and stick it on. So pretty much, I won a contest, winning two passes for the prescreening, the movie soundtrack, and a copy of their burning up book. HAHAHAHAHA, I'm still laughing about it, ahh, life is good readers, life is as good as it gets.

It's funny how you think I care.

What an epic failure I am. I'm sorry that I haven't blogged in a while, no lie, I've been doing HOMEWORK. Well, for starters, the weekend was okay, OSCARS TONIGHT (L). Award shows just make me so darn happy. So, I got new-ish glasses, those gay reading ones, but s'okay, I don't look like Harry Potter anymore.... BUT I will obvs wear the HP ones more, they're subscription, and I'm not quite ready to say goodbye ;) Going to the mall with a "couple" makes you feel like a MASSIVE third wheel. I'm always the third wheel, sigh, such disappointment.

I'm going to finally admit something, okay, deep breath, here I go, I, Jessica F, like white boys. There, and I'm sorry if you don't care, BUT you can STFU about everything okay, okay. We good? Cool. Mang, talking about relationships and sex and stuff like that always make me feel so awkward! In science when we did that topic, I wasn't laughing, or giggling like all the immature children there, I was blushing, and trying not to care, but really, when people add personal stories, like really? Is that appropriate. It's really awkward to watch your sister and her friend make "love bites" on their friend....it's very amusing though, but, you're really just sucking someones dirty, dry, ashy skin. Sorry.

We went to Pho today, it was deliciously yummy. My parents and my sister's friend, and our close friend and her mother. It is strange being with them in a table. My mother gives us a lecture on how we should have proper table etiquette and says that I am "one of the boys", I guess I'm not the only one who saw that. They're the reason I don't get dates, oh, no, wait, that's just me.

So, here is my new list of failures; (& truths)
One: I am failing math with a 48%, my mother is hiring a tutor, someone help me please!
Two; I am flat out broke, I owe 2$ to my sister, and I have no way of earning money.
Three; I need a job.
Four; I'm not a dancer, I'm a MUSICIAN, Although I am forced into Cultural dancing, HELLO, I don't plan on becoming a professional folk dancer!
Five; I'm not a very good musician.
Six; I'm the worst "dedicated" fan on the face of this planet.
Seven; I just realized I get jealous.
Eight; Single Pringle am I.
Nine; Right now I am missing the Oscar Red Carpet.
Ten; I can hardly see through my "new glasses"
Eleven; I'm not planning to see the Jonas Brothers 3-D.
Twelve; I'm hardly known at school.
Thirteen; I didn't exactly drop the "creeper status"
Fourteen; I didn't notice how many failures I've had.
Fifteen; I should do homework, but I left all my books at school.

I am such a dork, but I don't mind, at least I amuse you in a way.

You spin my head right round, right round.

Turns out, I was wrong. I got a call home. I thought I was doing better- I was failing. It's not even cool how you have to hear that you're not doing good, how you should move, and you should try harder until your brain explodes anymore. Darn, looks like I'll be going SUPER ASIAN if I want to pass math with at least a 70. I'm so not going to be able to preorder, darn, I was so looking forward to it! Anyways, at least I don't have to break it to my parents that I'm not the "smart one" in the family anymore, really, I never was. Truth be told, I'm pretty dumb, they were just to proud to take it in.

Moving on, are your ears bleeding from YOUR music ?
Have a peep at this really cool band that I'm enjoying at the moment; Milos Fare.
http://www.myspace.com/milosfare
They're real cool, so I hope you like this weekly recommendation ;)

You'll be hearing a LOT LESS from myself, I'll be getting tutored like mad.
No worries, let's hope this tutor will help me fly by this whole catastrophe.
And go ahead, why not tell the world?!
But seriously, don't worry, I'll get through this, and I'll be back with 90%'s.

;)

No really YOU hang up !

Word of the day WEEK;
RAUNCHY.

It's so catchy, it's so different, it's so RAUNCHY !
oh mang, I don't even know the true meaning of it, but who cares?!
This is going to turn into a long week.
Hey, if it sounds cool....

HAHAHAHAHAHA, my sister- the idiot, got the Q-tip end stuck in her ear. It's actually hilarious, she freaks out, then I get it out with tweezers, and then she's okay. THEN, she's not done cleaning her ears, and she does it again. She's one smart cookie, don't mess with her ;)

Speak no feeling.

My mother says I look prettier than an old lady, isn't that always nice to hear, although, old ladies can be cute in a way. My sister hogs the computer, being the fat pig that she is. Oh, it's also so delightful to make wonton dumplings with your mother, using shitake mushrooms. Using broken wonton wrappers always make the coolest masks- even though they may not fit to scale. Today was a better day, not the best, never is really. Remind me to get my epic fail of a math test signed, or my teacher will mathicate me to death! We'll have to see how tomorrow goes, as of now, those wontons are done, YUMMY YUM! :)

*****

I don't want your sympathy, unless you truly mean it,
and don't give me no bull, it's really funny how you only start to care.
I didn't really go anywhere, so before you move on so fast, remember you never really had me, you thought you had a friendship all planed out- but not with me.
Thanks for NOT being there, thanks for NOT being that person I could trust, that I could have a friendship with. Once again, it's friendless, never trusting anyone Jessica.

Sheer utter disappointment.

So after a long day, getting lost for an hour trying to search for the Chinese Grocery, finally finding it, watching your mother get a haircut, and then having to pick up your sister. It's always interesting to see how your sick day goes, mine wasn't so well. Other than the fact that I got to miss school, hooray. I'm pretty sure NO ONE noticed I was gone, since there was that skiing trip and all. I don't care, I don't even know who I am either. So, I've been relating to alot of songs lately, no, I am not going to give any titles, no they are not embarrassing songs, no I do not care what you think. I can't believe I was honestly this close to letting the Jonas Brother's go- again. How can you let such beautiful boys out of your life? Only cool children admit that they are a fan of them. I've realized I'm not good enough, I'm never going to meet your-or anyone's standards, but my own. It's kind of stupid, stupid that everywhere I am, I'm always second best, actually I'm always lower than second, probs like 50th.

So, I made a life plan, it's realistic at least, it's something other than happiness and HOLLYWOOD.

I am going to have halfbreed babies, like Jon and Kate plus 8. Mine will be cuter, since they will have more white genes :) Shut the heck up, I'm not racist. I'm going to marry a polish/french/austrailian person of the opposite sex. I will move to California and will have a medical degree and I will be a phsycologist. I plan on having 2-4 children, if it is 2; one boy and one girl, if 4; three boys and one girl... I have names, but you're not hearing that. I'm a nerd/dork/geek for planning this, who knows, maybe I won't live that long, but I don't care, it's nice having at least one thing to live for.

PS. Aidan on Jon and Kate plus 8 is the cutest kid of life, and let's add Leah too, she's adorable :)

Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, Off to bed we go,

Staying home sick is always joyful.
Don't you love having clogged sinuses and sore throats and high fevers ?
Plus, it's always a bonus to have a roll of tissues beside you because you have to constantly get up to get more tissue.
It's also so fun to watch Jon and Kate + 8 marathons on TLC :)
I know I missed a geography test today, yay, and my French assignment was due today, and I don't really care because I can't even breath properly and talk without my throat killing.

Well, other than that issue, there are more, important ones to discuss.
For example, have you ever realized that you are just being used by another person/persons ?
Well, I finally took it in and realized that I was.
I mean, if you want to be best friends with my sister, don't talk to me, don't frigging ask me to give you her number and crap, don't ask me to tell her that you love her, don't tell me everything you have in common. Don't use me as a bridge to get to her.

And, I mean, it's not only girls doing this, but guys want me to help them get to my friends, UGGH, it's pretty frustrating because you don't really want to help, but yet, you're that person that can never say no. And it's always nice to have your comments deleted and such.

No one ever gives a second thought about me, no one ever considers me as BFFL material or other than that. No guy can ever take me seriously because I am just "one of the guys". This sucks, life sucks, being sick sucks. Well, another thing to add to this vent; my mom is off and I have to help her put away dishes, HOORAY. I shall be back, if I make it that is.

You keep me in Lockdown.

Hippie is she, retard am I.


Say yes to being camwhores !


Har har har, you love my poor skills.


Presenting; The Hunchback of Notre Dame
& Miss Big Head, Skinny Body !

It's always fun to be on lock down for four hours, and to take pictures in your backyard when it's freezing cold outside ! It's also very enjoyable to have your sister creeping you every moment that you are living, and having your father break down your door and cutting out your bike lock that you use to lock it so he can come in and tell you to eat. I absolutely adore having a big bruise on my arm because your sister is pulling your arm and annoying the death out of you & your father complains that he had a bad day at work and he takes it out on you and he hits you so hard his watch comes off! So, let's go deep into creep and take a peek at our cool backyard pictures! After being asleep for about 3 hours, it's hard to imagine that someone can be so groggy still, well, let's hit the hay!

Now, I'm hopeless.

Can I just say I gave up- without even trying? Or is that not possible... ?
Well, I am throwing in the towel for this one! So, I am going to just not try at all.
YAY. Okay, so I'm not pretty, oh kay, thanks for the reminder, but at least I try to make up for that. Obviously, not.

FORGET THAT RANDOM VENT UP THERE, okay, good.

It's a civies day tomorrow.
That day where you wear normal clothes instead of uniform.
GREAT, I just remembered like literally two seconds ago.
I'm so so so smart. Oh so smart.
So, I rather go naked, since I have no clothes and all.
Prepare to see some barf worthy body!
Oh gosh I kill myself.
So, maybe I won't go naked, since I can't anyway.
I'll just throw something together last minute- as always.
And I'll cross my fingers and pray that it will be fine, and I would look decent.
Maybe I should plan though.
Wait, I'm not a planner, I take it and go, live each day like it's the last day.
And wish me good luck, thanks.

Hold on tight, it's a crazy night, get your party on!

So, it was such a live party, yeah right.
Unless you count sitting in the corner "socializing" with others "live" then it was.
I'm not a party go-er or close to a party do-er. I'm a party pooper :)
I do not do good with social events.
I do not do good with public speaking.
I do not do good with associating with higher individuals.
Anyways, I guess I made the best of it- by eating smart food popcorn and talking to your acquaintances. So, yes, I have changed my blog layout once more, probably the final for a while, I'm getting so tired of trying to make it look all nice for no one but myself and a handful of sugarful stalkers :) I haven't posted yesterday, OH MY STARS, that was death mang, stupid obsessive blogging-ness -_-'. So, you know who the cool people are when you hack each others facebook profiles and change their pictures and status', I'm not worthy, I wish I was cool enough to do so. NOT. LAWLS.

Sometimes some children need to learn maturity, I'm not talking about the hacking thing now, I am talking about immature children that get on my nerves because they are so immature and act so under their age that it kills YOU. Grow up children ! Stop acting like 5 year old children, act your age. Okay, maybe I'm not clear, you're "young adults" as your parents state it, maybe you should try acting like a "young adult" and then more people will like you and appreciate you. Sounds like a plan, good. OKAY OKAY OKAY, so, my mom likes to yell at me when we are going grocery shopping in front of the whole store. She likes repeating herself and yelling out my name after she's only called me once and I am already coming. She likes embarrasing me in front of cashiers too.

Oh, and FIVE cheers to 50 cent lip sunglasses! HIP HIP HOORAYYYYY!
Also, let's add bubble tea to that hip hip hooray list, that's a good one.
Oh! and don't forget all your latest obsessions.
Then we can call it a pack and go off to freater places.
Let's reach our destiny's!


I don't make any sense today, yay to intellectual speaking and boredon + Confusion !

Everything is not what it seems.....

New favorite show ! Sonny with a Chance, one word AMAZING. The good thing about spending Valentines day on your on is watching shows online :) HAR HAR HAR, I also enjoy your parents coming home just to eat General Tsao chicken and Pad Thai noodles and giving you boxes of chocolate to make you feel better. Oh goodness, I love them, they're my true Valentines :) I don't know what I wouldn't do without them, although I do feel bad that they had to come home just to be with me and not go out and eat. But the cutest thing is reading their cards to eachother, and looking through their gifts... My dad got my mom these like 20$ flowers and he put a card in that said "Thank God for giving me someone like you to grow old with" I thought that was so sweet, especially for my dad. My mom, did her typical Christian card thing, it was still cute though, it was basically what my dad said but in a different format. Well, I'm on a date with myself now, watching bootleg movies ! YAY ! At least I'm on my own, and I'm having fun. Three cheers for watching disney shows online and watching bootleg movies on dates with yourself !

I'm so smart.

I accidentally COMPLETELY changed the whole layout of my blog, good ol' smart me. I had to replace all the codes! Good thing I am asian, and I know how to work computer programs and such. It took a LONGGGGGGG time though, no lie. So, here I am, completely disappointed in myself because I do not like the layout that I tried to make as close as possible to my old version. OKAY. So It's Valentine's day, yes, I know. And you know it's a great day when YOUR MOM IS YOUR "VALENTINE" according to herself. The highpoint of my day was my mom and dad giving me sweets :) I love them for that. As usual, on Saturdays I am forced to dedicate my time to cultural folk dancing, well, they keep telling me to "try harder" in other words, you're basically saying tha I'm not good enough, thanks. I've been trying for FIVE years of my useless life there, and I'm still not meeting your expectations?! I'm sorry if I'm not what you want, I don't want to be there either, I'm not a freaking dancer, I'm a musician, I don't dance, can't you tell that what you want me to do isn't who I am or what I want at all ? UGGGGH, I'm never going to be a skinny stick like everyone else there, I won't fit in their size zero costumes, so don't tell me to lose weight, I'm trying okay, but it's kinda hard to get into a size zero when your far from that. OH MY OH MY, sorry for my vent the previous day, really I am, but it's frustrating, when you just want to be unique, and you have people trying to copy you! Like, you wouldn't know half the things you do now or the people if it wasn't for me. And children, we all need to stop assuming it's making us all look like bum bums :)

Sometimes tv shows are WAY to dramatic and unrealistic. I mean, most movies show you what high school ISN'T like. They show a million different cliques and things that they make up. Children, don't believe any of that, high school isn't seperated by race or hobbies, so calm yourselves. Don't listen to high school musical, trust me, it's not like that at all. You don't get detention painting drama sets, you don't all have one lunch, you don't have just one group of friends, unless you are unopen to new things. So, little kiddies, when you are watching a tv show or movie, most of it isn't real, so calm your hormones, and just be yourself, who cares what others think! :D I'm such a hypocrtie, hahahaha, okay, so I have a "date" with my mom apparently, but I probs will just slack off the rest of this holiday. Happy anti-Valentines !

copyright infrigment.

MANG. So here's the deal. You can STFU and stop pretending that you're so original, okay, okay good. Honestly, it's freaking frustrating. Oh, and I updated my music playlist again, which took hours :) You know how long it takes to be frigging original. Yes, well anyways, shut your mouths, and just listen. So, sure, you may not like my music, well then okay, I don't care, pause it or don't read my blog. If you do, don't frigging claim that you knew them all along and all that useless information. I HATE HATE HATE people like that. Like you say you got an account like "2 years ago" meanwhile, while I am looking at it, it says you made it like last month, oh, you're cool now. You know what people like that are? FRAUDS. Honestly, I'm a music kid, yeah, and I'm not bragging or boasting, but that's my talent, I'm good in music in general. I can find songs that no one has heard about, I can become a fan of a genre that no one would have dared too. I'm glad that I'm helping you but PLEASE PLEASE save me the frustration and pain when you lie to me. Like I know bands, I know people, I know my music. So if you ever try to pretend, you're so dead, because do you know who you're facing? Obviously not. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but seriously it takes a long time to find good music for me, to find the genre and type that I would enjoy listening too. Oh, and if you don't know the answer to a band question, just don't answer it, okay. Like don't be like "Oh yeah, (insert band name here) is from Germany" with a confident smile when the band you just said was from Germany is DANISH. Good job, you just made yourself look idiotic, and I'm not correcting you, since you're a HUGE fan of that artist, and you knew them first right? You go try to seperate yourself from others, go try looking for music genres on your own, it's not that easy losers. Don't worry, you're cool the way you are. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone, so who cares if you like Screamo, and I don't or if you like Gino, I'm sorry I can't stand that, I'm not making fun of YOU am I? No, if you appreciate that music, then okay. Once again, I'm sorry for being so "harsh" but I'm angry, so much people have been giving me this kind of bullcrap for a while, and I'd just finally like to speak up. So, thanks for the appreciation, but try being yourself sometimes too. Now, let's all go to our warm beds and sleep and dream like dreamers do !

disaterous destrcution.

So, today was TWO "special days"; Friday the 13th, and Valentines day, since tomorrow there is no school or anything. So, we were forced to celebrate the brutal holiday with our peers at school. I witnessed about 12946029566046019659086537246125398236531054215 couples make out today. It was pretty disgusting. I lived through the day though. Friday the 13th didn't get to me though! I actually STAYED ON MY FEET THE WHOLE DAY, miracle ! I got in trouble in French, because EVE* was whipping Jelly Bellies at me, and she got one in my eye, MANG IT STUNG. The teacher had a spazz at me, and it was just so embarrassing, my cheeks flared red, as usual.Oh, and those Hershy chocolates for IN* where delectible! Har har har, High point of the day? Def has to be decorating our music room with Jonas Brother Pictures. Hilarious, my teacher, hates them, bless his heart. I love them though, I mean, I'm not obsessive okay, leave me alone! Oh, and they took off their purity rings, bad move boys, bad move, KEEP THOSE ONE! They're blind, that's like what makes them 20 times more attractive and wanted by girls all over the globe. Stupid choices, I secretly hope that they lose their virginity to some girl that has herpes and they learn next time to KEEP A PROMISE TO GOD once they've made it. Oh! and Math class, wasn't at all close to bad today! Let us hope that I have a new BFFL status very soon, it's a good start, muahahahah :) Anyways, my parents went out for their "valentines day dinner" since, they have busy scheduals tomorrow. They strictly ordered me Not to cook anything. Since, I am artistic, and have never been that kind of kid who listens or cares most of the time, I am going to cook something right now! Cooking is a great hobby- and a great way to kill time :D Aloha !

Ps. Sorry to break your little hearts little kids *ahem* niners *ahem* that matchmaker thing you purchased for two dollars was a COMPLETE WASTE. Don't listen to what a stupid paper tells you about your life, beside's it's chosen at random you immaculate children!

*Names to be disclosed :)

my favorite holiday...

Oh, the delightfully dreadful Valentines day is quickly approaching. Since it is on a weekend, there's not excuse in forgetting it, is there? Obviously not. I mean, all this "fund raising" doesn't exactly help those who are "needy". I mean, think of all those kids who ARE NOT going to get a candy gram or a valentine's treat just because of some difference. Maybe we should spend this holiday loving EVERYONE not just our partners or Valentine. So, really, if you dont want to participate in this so called holiday, where it is just an excuse that couple's use to make out in the halls, there really is no way to avoid it. Just try to ignore it and remember the happy couple you just witnessed, they won't be so happy soon, as for yourself, you're pretty much the luckier person now ;)

PS. new name is a little bit gay for me. Well, I'm a country girl, I live on farmland, and I don't know why it's bagel's, stop hating ! I'll be changing it soon.

someone, anyone, everyone, SCREAAAAM !

I need a new blog title. This one sounds too, depressing. By the way, I am turning over a new leaf, or you may say that I am going to change. Obviously, I'll still be myself, BUT I am honestly cutting out the creeper status. It will no longer be associated with me, hopefully. Gaah, okay okay okay, so I am dropping the creep and picking up some math and french textbooks, because I am asian failing those subjects. So say goodbye to slacker Jessica and welcome in the nerd! And help me pick a new blog name :) Oh! I am growing my hair long again, and I will honestly stop straightning it constantly, it needs a break, as do I. It is oh so very tiring to straighten your hair everyday at like 6 in the morning, but I must say that my biceps are growing, no lie, you can touch them ;) Hardy hardy har, okay then, if it['s not too much to ask, my mother is screaming at me to "clean my room" It's as clean as it will get, I'm usually organized, but when it comes to my room, just don't even ask. My locker is like my second room, it's honestly disgusting in there, you wouldn't know it was a girls locker, other than the posters in it, har har har. Okay, okay, okay, So school. School was contentful, it was an okay day. Stupid matchmaker tests, uggh, they're stupid, I shall explain later. As of now, my mother is yelling at me to get my "shirt" (cardigan) from downstairs. Catch you later Alligators !

after the september morn'

My sister and Mother are having a "jam session" And, mang, it's beautiful, my ears are only bleeding! HAHA, I'm kidding, my mom sings beautifully, just be prepared when she does, her voice is so unique, it takes some time to understand it's true beauty.... LAWLS, I love my mom :) So today was actually a good day. I was too lazy to attempt to straighten my hair, so I went Au Naturel, like I have been doing for a while now. It's okay though, it will save furthur damage to my hair though. Math was actually pretty good today, we had an assembly for Black History Month which, was actually just a police officer playing 5 chords on his guitar and singing along. The song wasn't that bad, but the overall presentation, sorry I missed the point and meaning. I mean, how does Your life story relate to Black history? Sure, I mean, it's your race, I'm not being racist, but honestly, I learned nothing of the history. Other than your story on changing diapers? It was a complete waste of 65 minutes, I could've finishe my math in class! Well, who cares, he swore way too much, I don't think our school would hire him again anyway, the VP seemed a bit mad about it. He walked out when the guy said Female dog in it's most common use of format, Be-ech :) Har har har, I'm such a nerd, sorry, I don't swear 8) Well, tonight, hopefully I can get my library card! And then I will rent countless books and return them when they are overdue! YAY ! The Library is always a fun place to go, fun fun fun. Well ta ta for now! I'll be sure to update later, afterall, I am an obsessive blogger ;)

I forgot my alphabet.

NLKAHFDLBAKLEBLAKBEFKJABSLASBFLSBFLBERLKHLABSFJKASBDFKBASL.
You kill me. AMG, AMG, AMG, I just witnessed the most amazing movie preview of LIFE. Ha, sorry for all you haters out there. Honestly, I like died of hope. I'm so desperate, eww. I'm such an obsessive little teenie, GROSS. Okay, I am SLACKING on preordering, and I am just crossing my fingers and praying that there will be tickets when it comes out- which I already know is highly impossible, still, I'll try. Yes to lazy people! I can kick as high as a ninja, BEAT THAT JOE. Okay, now I am going to crawl into a corner and forget that I ever posted this teenie blog post. Hokay, I'll be back. Uggh, I really really want frozen blueberries, why do they take so long to freeze ?!

truth and dare, what a scare :)

I like trips to the Oriental Market- or as some may call it the "Chinese grocery". Every time we go, which is like at least once a week, we buy more than we need. It's hilarious, I LOVE LOVE LOVE listening to their amazingly amazing Chinese accents ZOMG, they're like legit crazy. I love their cheap cheap prices too :) We made a new friend there, with the cashier lady, she was asking us to spell things for her. It was funny, we were eating SEASONED SEAWEED (L) while my dad was paying, and he got angry at us because we just "ate" and the lady's like "Noh, let tem eet it. It on spec-ial, only 9 9 cens."she honestly says it like that. I LOVE THEIR ACCENTS. I really really have to start doing math homework, I'm such a slack, it's killing my grades. So Math class is lits(literally :D) 75 minutes of AWKWARD silence, to the maximum. It's my least favorite of classes. French is okay at times. And guess what? The oh so lovely Valentines Day is coming up, how pleasant. My favorite holiday, pfft, why is it here?! Great great great, oh, and one thing that sucks about overloading at the OM- all the groceries you have to put away, like I do now. G'bye for now Bloggy :)

pantyliners smell like poo.

My sister is beyond immature. She throws her panty liners in my face so I can take in the disgustingness. She constantly licks me when I am washing my face. Oh, did I mention that while I was using the sink- she literally brushed her teeth on my arm. Now I m legit gagging because she jut farted and it honestly stinks. Like, I can not breath. Yum, don't you just love the fart of Mc Donalds french fries mixed with a Burger ? I def do- NOT. I got food poisining from their Junior Chicken, yum, it was delish to look at the remains of my JC, it's gross mang. I still want that Hello Kitty watch that comes with a happy meal, I shall get a happy meal next time. My sister is honestly killing me, uggh and so is my mother. UGGH, goodnight and goodbye bloggy !

so here's to silence that cuts me to the core;

I don't even think a lot of people read my blog anymore. I'm a loser for blogging, but who cares right? My blog stalkers are currently M.I.A, I don't know where they could've gone too. Tsk, tsk, they're missing out all the fun. It's just me an you know Bloggy, just me and you ;). HAHA, I'm such a nerd, OKAY, so do you know how AWKWARD it is in my math class? It is BEYOND awkward. We are not allowed to talk at all, or even breath loudly or look at each other, it has to be SILENT, which is impossible because nothing can be completely silent, like that piano piece called 3 minutes and 43 seconds or something, it's a great piece, I'm like PRO at it, no lie :). Anyways, so math class is a epic fail, like super epic, the whole class I am literally not talking at all, and when I am, it is for an important issue, and I talk a lot apparently, but I'm that nerd in the corner with her cool glasses that everyone is jealous of but Nick Jonas has them in the Lovebug video, sigh. Eww, I'm becoming an obsessive teenie, yucky. I am NOT obsessive, get that through your viscous skulls, I am DEDICATED :D. So, second semester is coming and going, it's just in between of good and bad. I'm not enjoying it as much as I thought, but it's just my freshman year of highschool what did I really expect? Well, I am going super asian this semester, I will this time, I HAVE to get honor roll, but I can't do that with a 78 % average -__-' ASIAN fail, very epic ASIAN fail. Oh, and I am hoping to change my blog layout very soon, but it takes a while with all the codes and editing I have to insert, blech. Well, g'bye!

ps. this is my 61st blot post ! AMG .

Family time is for the undeserving;

My parents enjoy talking throughout award shows. Especially if it's the Jonas Brothers and they have to mock them and make fun of them the whole time. I don't understand why. I mean, can't they just be happy and be proud that they are there? Obviously not. And guess what I found out. You're going to laugh. I did when I found out, anyways; THE JONAS BROTHERS ARE A MEMBER OF MY CHURCH. Yes, they are a member of the New Jersey family one. They are a part of the New Jersey Church of Christ, I'm in the Toronto Church of Christ, see how that works? HAHAHA, my mom was all like "yeah, their dad is like a leader there" it was pretty funny, all the while my sister was like "let's visit!" then she like made fun of them while they performed while commenting on how 'hot' Joe looked. I don't care, I think they were freaking amazing with Stevie Wonder, it sounded really cool. You can't blame me for liking them okay, it's them and their supervenes, I mean, what kind of instrumentalist am I if I admire their work? I don't know, but who cares, they're cool. I really want my own band, like it would be cool. I can play the chords I know on my guitar 8) Fine, I'll just play classical piano or sing terribly in the background. I'd love to go to the grammy's I'd absolutely love having an opportunity like such to be able too. Well, Goodnight and Goodbye !

HAY-YO

I want a lock of Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift's hair....
While you're at it bring my Katy Perry <3 .
:)

you're flat out CRA-ZY.

So, we woke up late and we couldn't attend our usual more friendly church that I have been going to since I was like 2 :). It's a non denomination Christian church and I hate to admit that I like it WAY better than any old catholic church. UGGH, my mother says I have to do homeowrk :S. OKAY OKAY OKAY, so church; I watched little babies drool on their parents backs, and I watched sister love that I never get to see with my sister and I -_-' This little girl gave her sister her jacket to sleep on, it was so cute. Then I saw these two women kiss, probs a daughter and a mother, on the lips.... during that peace thingy. Moving forward, my mother made PHO, it was frigging AMAZING. IT was like eating heaven, not like I would ever eat heaven... So, the Grammy's are tonight, and I am trully looking forward to see all the losers and winners and all thoses amazing performances! I'll have to update later, my mother is being a nag mom.

HEY-LO, I am currently watching the grammy red carpet, and let me tell you, TAYLOR SWIFT ASND MILEY CYRUS LHSLDFHSLRTGAIUGLTRKAGKLABAKLSDASHVFLASKDHVFLKAS. Oh how they kill such a child with their beauty. They look so freaking gorgeous, and oh my Taylor Taylor Taylor! You gys kill me, I bet the Jonas Brothers were probably crying when they saw you :) HAHAHAHA, I'm such a loser. ANYWAYS, one day that could be me, just wait, I could be walking the red carpet for the Grammy's one day, just wait, unfrotunantly I can't seem to wait, and I don't think I have the talent to anyway, mang, this sucks. Impossible dreams that kill your soul, for it is something you truly wish you'd have.

You won't go to the doctor he keeps calling you insane.

My faja (father) made me cook pancit(noodles). I think it is very yummy, but I'm just so amateur at cooking, although I do enjoy it very much. So today we had CPO, the place that I am very much kind of excluded from. I am so different from everyone there, sure we are all one race, that doesn't mean anything. So, I was ready for disappointment as usual, and I was beyond disappointing. I was very very very aggitated today, to the max. I was getting very annoyed at every little thing, just because I just dislike the whole area of CPO. Anyways, I'm getting tired, and I want to take a nap before I leave in like 10 minutes, great, what a long napping time. yay.

And you flashback to when we said forever and always.

Well, me and my sister just had this INTENSE "jam session/band practise" according to her. I called it torture. Just because I could not get the stupid melody for one part, then we had to keep starting over and over again. It's a good thing I LOVE the song though; Forever and Always by Taylor (TAYTAY) Swift :). Anyways, I figured out that I AM NOT a veggie monster anymore :(. Who cares anyway? I took it semi-serious, but not to heart. So, I am a NON-PORKATARIAN HA ! I'd take that any day to Vegetarian. Besides, I don't eat pork much anyways, I think it's weird eating your sister, HAR HAR HAR. I'm hilarious aren't I. I'm kidding, I LOVE YOU JENNNNN. I'm getting somewhere with my guitar, that's why we were having a "practise" I practically got the whole song ;). Oh! And our band is going to be called "OH GOODNESS" no, it's not, I'm just bored and can't think of anything. Well, anyways, I am going to post another intensely intense chapter in my fanfic, I know right, no way! Okay, Au Revoir!

Okay, lets try this again,

I overreacted just a tad. Okay, I'm sorry. I apologize if I acused you too much and blamed you for everything. Okay? I was angry, and I kept thinking about when it frist happened to me-not by you. I['m sorry okay. Jeez, I never thought it would get out of hand, it was my fault. Now can we just all be grownups and be mature about the situation? Can't we all just hold hands and sing kumbayah? I HATE being in situations like this, and I'm sorry if I "put it on myself" okay, okay. There, I forgive you, I'm sorry, what more can I say? I'm not breaking under pressure, I'm trying to be the BIGGER PERSON.

you got me begging you for mecy, mercy, mercy

Hey there Old Pal of mine. Well, today was a better day, and I'm too lazy to update about school. Today seemed actually unreal. I found it pretty funny how immature people can be- including myself. It's funny how something can change so quickly. I think I may need to switch to applied French, I mean, I know it's only been like 3 days of classes and I don't know if I feel confident in continuing throughout the year. I'm not failing, but I am doing poorly. I'm horribly at public speaking, and I'm horrified of it, so imagine yourself, having to present in some sort of foreign language. I think I was literally shaking, how odd. Oh ! And I am vegetarian again, well not full vegetarian, uhmm, penecitarian? Is that what it's called? Where you don't eat meat other than like fish and seafood? It's something like that. Still, I'm not eating meat, unless it's fish ;) Well, I'm going to hit the haysack- since I live on a farm and all that. Say Goodnight And Goodbye !

I thought this was appropriate.

Hi again, I'm healing, yay?
Well, I've gone through my depression mood playlist, I've found a couple of songs.
So, I'd like to post one that seemed appropriate.
Now, go to my "JAM WITH JESSICA!" section on the right side of my blog, you may need to scroll down. Now, look for a song titled "WHAT IS HAPPENING" with the artist as ALPHABEAT, double click it and listen while you read these lyrics, kapesh? Kapesh.

"Oh, when I said I need you so much
I was dead,
I was alive when you were right here by my side,
We both could see
that I needed you, you needed me,
And now we both regret,
Regret what we said.

When we said,
Don't you ever come back,
Don't you ever come,
Don't you ever come back,
Don't you.

Don't go out tonight,
Baby can't you see,
What is happening to you,
What is happening?

Don't go out tonight,
Baby can't you see,
What is happening to you,
What is happening?

So whose fault is it anyway,
Don't say,
We don't know,
We both know that we made a mistake,
It's hard to live together forever,
Well, that's what they say,
We still regret what we said,
What we said.

When we said,
Don't you ever come back,
Don't you ever come,
Don't you ever come back,
Don't you.

Don't go out tonight,
Baby can't you see,
What is happening to you,
What is happening?

Don't go out tonight,
Baby can't you see,
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
What is happening to you,
What is happening?

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh

Oh, when I said I need you so much
I was scared,
I was alive when you were right here by my side,
We both could see
that I needed you, you needed me,
And now we both regret,
Regret what we said, yeah yeah yeah.

Don't go out tonight,
Baby can't you see,
What is happening to you,
What is happening?

Don't go out tonight,
Baby can't you see,
What is happening to you,
What is happening?

Don't go out tonight,
Baby can't you see,
What is happening to you,
What is happening?

Don't go out tonight,
Baby can't you see,
What is happening to you,
What is happening? "

Hoh Kay, now, I hope you enjoyed that little follow up. Once again, I am terribly sorry for everything that I caused, good luck in life! And sorry for the 3 posts in a row thing, that was my bad.

what a happy ending,

It's funny, because just less than 30 minutes ago I was totally fine, after venting and deep breathing. I was singing karaoke and writing songs and being a happy go lucky kid with a fake smile on her face and a million thoughts through her mind. Now, I'm the complete opposite. See how that works. I never imagined that a person you would call a friend would tell you that you shouldn't talk anymore. That's always the best thing to say to an emotionally unstable child. Did you know that you just made life a lot more happier for me? Well, thank you for adding to my collection. Now, I'm not trying to make anyone sound guilty, when I'm angry, I vent, like I did earlier. I'm sorry if I blamed you, and I'm sorry if I made you seem like the "bad guy", is it really my fault? Probably. I didn't ask you to talk to her though, I didn't ask you to tell the kid I sit beside all that great stuff about me or did I? Because I don't remember those specific orders coming out of my mouth, or am I just an idiot? This is the many reasons why Jessica EFF does not have any friends, this is why she is friendless. She can not deal with human beings and their constant change in hormones and fights and especially with females and their instinct to kill prey- another person of the same sex. Well, it's not pleasant. I was just starting another chapter in my fanfic, and beginning to calm down and make a resolution. Then, I got all emotionally unstable and don't know what happened. I did something stupid- I always do. So now I am here blogging about it because I don't want to do a stupid thing again, I hate it. I was getting better, but now I'm only falling apart.

what an utter embarrasment.

I am truly an utter embarrassment, in all that I do. It wasn't supposed to happen like that, it was supposed to be natural, not frigging forced. Now- I'm pretty sure I can not show my face around school, but I have to, frigging Asian parents that don't believe the "I'm sick" excuse anymore. alshdlehlandlknaslrhklajekljas. I'll blame it on winter! Yes! Except- I kinda want to go to school, bleech, except we can just skip fourth period. I just finished some hors devours that I baked myself :) ANYWAYS, here's my day.

Third day of Second semester, they say "the third time's a charm" well, I guess NOT. So, my day was going perfectly fine, if you can say so.And so here's a happy little short asian kid with black hair and yellowish skin skipping down the halls like the Wizard of Oz, yes, she was doing so well with her day today. This little asian kid with yellowish skin got to color maps in geography, and draw a title page or Page titre in French, and even got her notes right during sight reading in music! So, this little asian kid with yellowish skin, she's all happy(ish) and she's at lunch and she's eating her noodles(pancit) and she's walking to her locker and she's with some aqquintences and she's making her way- to fourth period. So, she doesn't expect it to absolutely HORRID, so she walks in kinda happy and excited other than the fact that she had to witness the class beside her coming out and absolutely look like a fool as always. Okay, so she goes into her math class, and all is going oh so well. She understands BEDMAS and the random integers they're drawing on the board. Unfortunantly, she can not see far without her glasses, so she doesn't wear them, because she is frightened to look like a geek just because she is asian. So, she ends up copying the wrong numbers because she doesn't know what she is writing due to a lack of eyesight. So she resolves the issue and continue's on just trying to make it through the class. La di da da la la la la la di di di di da da da da.

Then, with just about 15 minutes more of class, a look of horror spreads around her face. She turns a BRIGHT CHERRY RED and completely and utterly embarrases herself. She feels like peeing her pants badly, she feels like punching someone on their faces. She feels like going home and screaming into her pillow while punching it continuously. So then here's what happened. EVE* is like "Oh, Jessica want's to talk to you" (laughing) "haha, Jessica has a crush on you" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, YOU ARE FRIGGING HILARIOUS, did you know that? HILARIOUS, ABSOLUTELY A COMEDIAN. UGHH UGHH UGHH UGHH UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

So, she's pretending not to care, la di da da, doing her work that she's copying from the ANSWERS section at the bottom of the sheet- but who cares? And then all of a sudden "CALL HER LING LING, HER NAME IS LING LING JR" like who the heck do you think you are? Sure, I may look like I don't mind, but are you in my freaking head? NO. You don't understand ANYTHING. Do you know I was bullied because of Discrimination and racism? Obviously not. So how do you think I feel when you bring up racial comments like that? Do you want me to frigging laugh along with you? well you can FORGET THAT, I don't know what you edxpect me to do? Do you want me to get upset like I do? Plus, do you have to make comments about my FAMILY? NO. You can make as much fun of me if you want- I'll take it in. But when you bring in my frigging family? I know, I may dislike them at times, but they're mine. Don't you ever use racism or my frigging background on me. Sure, I was okay with it last time, you know how much it kills me to still hear "YAMANASHI" or whatever it was? Well, it frigging hurts, do I call you the Spanish empire or the Indian castle or whatever NO ? And you can stop brinigng up my stupid marks, don't you think I'm already embarrassed getting those marks? You know that I can not bear getting frigging under 50% on my test and still- you have to tell some random kid you just met. If I told YOU my mark, that was the worst thing I could've done. I was gaining trust in people, but now I'm losing it all. I can't trust anyone, I learn that over and over and over, it's a repeating pattern. Well, now I'm stuck, not knowing what to do. The first time I was bullied due to racism I took it in, until it became too much. Do you want that to happen now? Do you want me to freaking add scars to my collection I already have? Do you? Well, I won't because I've been getting better, I'm stronger now, I take in the pain without hurting myself like I used to. It's a painful process, because I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing but I'll get somewhere, I'll forget this and one day maybe just one day, my dream will come ture, and the next time you see me, just wait.

*names to be disclosed

Fifty posts later...

So, this is my 50th post, since I am an obsessive blogger, it's kind of cool. Anywho, today was a mess. I cracked, badly. It was really shameful, I am a disgrace. So, truly, I am hurt. I even made this whole plan of leaving that villainous school and coming back to my feeder school-in Milton. I was obviously just being a freaking idiot, how stupid can I get? Apparently- very stupid. Today was 3 slaps in the face. Starting with Geography when I couldn't even spell NUNAVUT or get the stupid capitol cities straight. Then comes music, oh so joyful music class. Let's just say- for me, it's the opposite of joyful. It is SHAMEFUL. Why am I there? Because I'm in the art's program? Is that why? What's the point! I mean, I was sort of forced into quitting piano-which I did, then I thought I was doing so well, but obviously not. I was aiming so high that I lost my balance and fell out of place. Uggh, I'm not going to let this situation get to me, not this time. Math Math Math, that was the biggest slap of all. Getting that quiz back, that was DISAPPOINTING, I mean EVELIN got better than me, oh and say hello to Evelin, followers, meet Evelin, my blog stalker :). That killed me. I was honestly going to cry, after that long day of disappointment and putdowns I just wanted to vent it all out or crawl up in a corner and cry out every last tear of frustration. Then, staring at my report card-which we also got today(yaaaay)- I realized, that I am putting al this on myself. Why am I making life harder for myself and putting myself down? I'm not happy with me though, I thought know I can do better! I'm just rusty and I'm patching up the holes! You have to give me time, not just make me jump of the bridge with out any preparation. I had to fight the depression today, I tried my hardest- and It all prevailed. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for me, and I wouldn't have to bare all these accusations that I put on myself.

G'day! :)

I'm falling like I never have before...

Second day of the Second semester. Let's just start of with IT SUCKED. Well, okay, sure, it was better, but your teachers moving your seating arrangements into alphabetical order- that just shows how creative they are. Okay, so in Geography, time just flew, it was fun, I guess, we did some mapping thing, woot. And then second period comes, French. I swear, all Asians are bad at French ! I'm not trying to stereotype, hey, maybe It's just me. I got a freaking 24 out of 60 on our surprise test to see how much we know. I got the 2nd lowest mark, "not that it counted on anything". Then she advised the people who got under 40 or something to switch to applied. I'm sorry if I forgot what I learned A YEAR AGO, I'm a little rusty, but I know what I'm doing! I got 80's in French last year, I just haven't done this noob stuff in a while! Can you blame me for that? No. I'm refreshing my mind, and I don't plan on pursuing a frigging career in French anyways, so what's the point ?! Gaaaah, it's all so pointless. I'm not even close to being asian, whatever your stereotype is, I'm not smart smart, like frigging Straight A, and I'm not that talented. So, we moved seats in math- alphabetically- and I end up sitting beside this kid. So, we get handouts for homework, and this kid, finishes his like as soon as we got them. Then there's me, still on probably, the third question. Plus, it's a bit weird, because this kid, he reminds me of someone else, and holy gee, it's crazy. He's like asian brains times twenty. He finishes his math homework, than he takes out his geography, and finishes that too, oh, then comes his french homework, which he runs down like mad. I swear, he makes me look like a bigger idiot/loser than I usually do. Well, it was a very awkward ending to the day, these kids were having some kind of fun throwing things at each other and missing and the eraser pieces, and pieces of candy landed on me. It was pleasant if you're desperate for a sugar rush. Plus, it's kind of hard to hum or sing the Jonas Brothers or some other stupid song in class, when it's like dead silent. Then you have your math teacher who's like never in the room. He honestly leaves for 5 minutes and randomly shows up back in class, then he leaves again or just stands there watching us work, which is a bit odd, especially when he peers over you like a madman. Well, that was my day in a nutshell. Oh, and we created a B-E-A-D C-L-U-B according to Evelin, that's our song.

Goodbye to the B-E-A-D-C-L-U-B !

you're a trainwreck,

I'm worried about tomorrow. I don't do well with new beginnings, it's harder because I've already become so acquainted with something, and letting it go can get painful at times. For me, starting over is becoming that loser in the class once more-it sucks. I don't let it bother me that much though, at least I try not to. My goal for tomorrow; socialize, even though it kills me. Okay, Jessica, you can do it, just go up to a random kid in your class- that you don't know- and say hello, what harm could it do ? Everything, ugh, this is impossible. This venting isn't working. Bleech. + I added two more songs to my song list today- I know I'm a loser. So now that's 55 songs, whoa. Okay, goodbye to you ! I'm going to watch "mother knows best" a documentary about sex, woooot. My sister is enjoying this alot. It's hilarious, be sure to take a peek at my other blog ! Add me as a friend, if you have a Live Journal, thankyou!

You had your dreams I had mine.

I got home at almost 2 last night. I slept at 2:30. I'm still tired.
The Induction ball just came and left, it was okay I guess.
I hated my shoes, they gave my blisters.
I tripped and almost spilled my food, I spilled coke or some other stuff on my dress.
Well, we got there at like 4:30 because lucky us, we had to set up a bit. I got to enjoy fob parents dancing their routine, killed my eyes. It was really nothing great, dances and parties are cool but they bore me a bit. After we came home, I went to take a shower, and I hit my bruised knee on the edge of the bathtub. You don't know how much that hurts. I was on the verge of tears. It still stings when you touch it. It was healing ! Uggh, then at Church today, when we have to kneel- I went to the Catholic church today- I knelt on my knee because I forgot it was hurting. I was about to cry in the church, but being strong and mighty me, I held it in and took the pain.

Okay, so the big news, I got my braces off ! YAY ! My teeth look so bare and naked without them though... It's kind of weird, I think I like myself with braces more....

Well, at the moment, my mother and sister are yelling at me and screaming and saying I am grumbling when I respond to them. I was busy cleaning my room- something I never do- and they kept making me do stupid things like get plastic bags and fix their beds, can't they let me finish my room and suck it up and be happy ?! Obviously not. Uggh, my mother thinks I don't see the way I am treating her, which is as nice as possible when you just want to pull your hair out. She needs to see how she acts, we need a reality show we can call it the Fermo Family Feud, that's what our life is. Great, now she's going to kill me. KILL ME FIRST PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. Oh goodness, goodbye for now !