I'm nothing but a sandcastle, don't blow me away.

I've been having this new addiction to listening to Demi Lovato and Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montanna songs, woot, I'm so Disney 8)! Oh, and I've been having this super obsession with the song Infatuation by the Jonas Brothers, they sing Japanese, I find it adorably hilarious, it's best of both worlds =).

Anyway, I'm off to a ball tonight. It's some induction ball- and yes, I have to wear a dress ! Personally, I'm not a fan of getting dolled up and putting on a dress and making yourself look all frilly and perfect. If it were up to me, I'd go in my turquoise skinny jeans, a t-shirt and my slip ons. Gaah, plus, I HAVE TO WEAR HEELS. Yes, Jessica, the girl who can't even walk straight in sneakers ! I can already picture it, my mother entering gracefully and oh, Jessica is behind her, tripping all over the place. How embarrasing, did I happen to mention that I have this huge bruise on my knee. It's pretty much all you see on my leg, just this huge blue spot with a tint of yello, I know, gross right, it kills! See, I got that bruise from walking in boots and I slipped or something, I don't even know, and I fell on the side of my face and on my knee including my elbow! Ouch. I'm a catastrophie. Just call me that. Oh goodness, get prepared for some embarrasment soon, it's going to come, I already know it.

How can you forget me so soon ?

So, at the moment, I am at home, watching Zoey 101 and the commercials that follow. And right now, YOU're somewhere, with them already forgetting about me. I guess I should've seen it coming, but I'm blind without my glasses and I didn't. I thought that we could all be friends, boy, was I stu-pid! I forgave you far too many times and now, I think this is the end. I called you a friend even though the last time I did, you tore it apart. I learned my lesson, so many times, I found out who my real friends are- no one. Thanks to you I can't trust anyone, and I can't communicate and open up to people like I used to. I thought I was getting better, but I'm getting worse. I used to sit in the corner, but you've brought me out, and out to experience this so called "friendship". High School was a great thing for me, I finally realized who I am called to be, and who I can trust and talk to more. You were one of them, but that was long broken. I'm a naive child and I am so used to calling you a friend that I held on to that too long. I have to find my own way, and find a new path. How could you hurt someone who you know already is in pain. I trusted you, but you hurt me again. Now, I'm just sounding like a stupid spazz. Well, before I expose myself too much- and you- then goodbye again. Hopefully, this part of my life will be over and I can start fresh again, since fresh starts have been happening alot.

Cheerio !

with every new begining comes an old ending.

So, second semester started today. I handed in my note for being absent to the attendance office and rushed of to find my first class. Geography was my first class, I thought I'd be a loner. Fortunately, Konrad was kind enough to assist me in the class. I walked in and all I see is a kid with a huge Mohawk. All I thought was oh shizzz, Chris is in this class, great, of course, he made fun of my asianess because he's too jealous :). It's all good though, Geography was one of my best classes of the day. After we did some matchmaker test thing and got some handouts and nothing really cool happened. So when Geo was over, I made my way to French class. OH GOODNESS ! French is my worst class out of all of them so far. I know the semester just started but I'm pretty sure you can already tell which classes are going to be fine and the ones that aren't. We started class by answering her questions- which she asked in french- and spelling our names with the french pronounciation of the alphabet, oh sorry L'alphabet. We ended the class, with a test, yes a test. Although the test was multiple choice, it was still a test, besides, I haven't done french in practially a year ! I'm pretty sure that test didn't go so well, for me at least. I was amazing at french last year ! Oh Elementary, how I miss you so. Then instead of my usual A lunch, I had music.

MUSIC! MUSIC! That saved my day, it was like I was going home again, I didn't have to worry about anyone since I knew everyone in my class already. It was a sigh of relief going into my old classroom and taking a seat where I always would. Anyways, after that breif interlude of time, finally lunch came ! We got released early- another reason to love your music class- and made our way to the cafeteria. I found out the we had "Chinese food day" on fridays...

I actually had fun in lunch, I guess. It was nice to see other people other than the same people in my classes. Then, I had math. Math math math math. It was just the history of numbers and the magic of numbers and decimals and stuff that didn't really entertain me. The only thing that made me laugh, was the classroom I was in- and next to.

Okay, well tomorrow, is my fathers induction ball, blaah, it's some formal thing, and I absolutly dispise wearing dresses ! Uggh, but on a brighter note of things- I am going to the orthodontist on Sunday, when I hopefully get my braces off.... again. Yes, I had them already, and yes this is my second time, who cares ! Jeez, straighter teeth for me then ! Hahaha, some advice to others, although you have a concert to go to, and although that concert may be the Jonas Brothers (sigh) , don't leave going to the dentist to get new retainers go to the side ! If you keep pushing it away, like I did, you'd remember the next time you went to the dentist- 3 moths later- and totally regret it all, especially when they tell you that your teeth are going back to their old shape and you need braces again! Sigh, oh well, that's my fault I guess, and this time, I won't push it aside, but maybe if it was the Jonas brothers again- okay, I'll shut up now....

Goodbye for now ! I'll inform you on more very soon, perhaps a couple hours later :)

the truth comes out...

So, I think I've finally accepted the fact that I- Jessica ------ (name to be disclosed)- is officially friendless. I mean, sure, you need to have friends but I don't have any. I'm surviving, I'm so much more better off anyway. I think I am coping very well. Who needs friends ?! Okay, well, I admit, I do have some almost friends, and they're great. So I guess I can last with being the true loner that I am, so now the truth has come out ! Yay to spilling unwanted beans !

I forgot what it was like to walk in the freezing cold.

did I mention how cold it was?- it was freezing !

So the Journey begins.....

Well, Hello there once again my good old friend of mine ! I have just arrived home a while ago from our journey in Downtown. It was a huge adventure which all started at 1 o'clock after my mother visited the walk in clinic due to "sinus problems". After that brief issue we went to pick up my sisters friend, Jynessa. Now, after all the driving is done, we arrive at our destination; Eaton Centers and Downtown. My mother and I got lost a bit, we went through a subway, I was following her. We had to locate my father who seemed to be in the Eaton center and we found out we were in some other building- how smart of us. So then, we heard there was this sale at Urban Outfitters, so I was of course very excited-until we got there. It seemed like nothing was different, no sales, unless count 40$ as a sale, which Jenn does apparently. So I totally regret not buying these super cool male graphic tees that I can wear as cool t-shirt dresses, they were only 4.99$ ! Now I seem like the biggest non bargain shopper out there, I would totally just go back in time and buy and waste the 20$ that I was armed with.

But before I even arrived at UO, I had walk alone through young st because my parents didn't want to go out in the cold, they're typical fobs. I was supposed to meet my great sister who supposed to wait for me, but she went straight away. It was frightning walking alone, I thought I was going to get raped- my mother puts these strange thought into my mind, she's paranoid. After I safely make it I take a look around and staring me in the face are- are- are DIANA SERIES/HOLGA CAMERAS ! I freaked out. I wanted one so bad, but I couldn't buy one, since I only had twenty dollars in hand, but it's okay, I'm not angry or upset, I'm just kinda mad about the whole long t-shirt thing, I'll get over it.

Back to the journey, we left UO with nothing, if I may add. Then these two smart cookies that I was with decided that they wanted to go to some Japanese buffet take out place which was on Quenn st- the other side of where we were. It took a while to get there, and these kids wanted to take lookbook pictures. I think my hands were frozen solid, it sucks being such a good photographer sometimes, kidding :) !

Anyways, after those pictures we went into this weird buffet thing where some Indian guy was watching us eat, it was so awkward, he kept trying to make me try his free samples. We all got creeped out and left after eating and went to a nearby starbucks. Now, this starbucks was very special to me, since, it was the Starbucks that the Jonas Brothers talked about at their Live At Much Interview ! I KNOW! I didn't panick at the time, okay maybe just slightly...I mean, I was standing in the same spot KENIJOFRA stood ! And I was touching the same door handle that BIG ROB most likely touched ! Then we ended not buying anything, because we had to journey back to the Eaton Center. We stopped by a nearby convienence and purchased Arizona Green tea with lemon, which is delicious by the way, and Jenn spilt more than half of it on her jacket and 2$ shirt from H&M on.

So then we see this huge comotion at the Much music building when we're at the starbucks across from it. So, if you saw these really cold kids on MOD tonight, that was probably us ! I still wonder who the people inside were though.... Onward ! Okay, so we get back to Eatons, blah, blah, blah, fast foward. We get home and there is a message on my phone. I press the play button on my machine and "A student in your household named JESSICA -------- has missed the following classes; period 1, 2 3a, 3c (somehow I was there at 3b?) and 4." I totally forgot about school! Well, not really, I wanted to go, really, but like journey ? or school ? Think about it, even though it is kinda obvious what to pick !

Okay, goodbye for now good friend of mine ! I hope you enjoy reading all about today's journey, so much more will be happening this week, it's a new semester, new teeth- the braces are coming off, again...- and an induction ball ! The journey never stops :)

Purple Rain

HAIIIIIII DERE, okay, so I apologize that I haven't been actually writing here- I forgot how much I still loved my LJ, which by the way you should take a look at ;)- Anyways, I've just come in to inform you that I have actual plans for today ! HORAAAH? You should really take a look at this other blog that I've heard of http://jessicamaura.livejournal.com/ ;). Laugh Out Loud, okay, sorry and tannnnkyooous for at least attempting to keep up with me !

Ps. I hope you enjoy the new layout ! I've been trying to think of a new name for my blog, in all. Please Feel free to comment in my comment box on the side ! You may use guest or type in another name ! I'd love to hear your positive (negative) feedback, Thanks :)

:D

Public humiliation.

I'd like you to take a look at my other personal blog. Thanks a lot, you can view my latest posts and I hope you enjoy my very intellectual writing of what I made public to you !

Let's all be creeps !
http://jessicamaura.livejournal.com/
http://jessicamaura.livejournal.com/
http://jessicamaura.livejournal.com/
http://jessicamaura.livejournal.com/

I gotta pick myself up, where do I start ?

With the horrid Valentines day quickly approaching I am preparing to crawl up in that dark hole on that day as always. It's not a very cheery holiday, just a holiday when little teenies and their hormones search for a partner to fufil their lonliness and where couples actually have an excuse for making out in the halls and some major PDA that you really wish you never saw.

At this moment, I am supposed to be cleaning the closet that leads to an alternate dimension in what I call a room. It's very clean, for me at least, but the closet- I hate to admit- is one big mountain o'mess. I slack off too much, it's not even cool.

Apparently I am going to the movies tonight. Tonight ? yes, unfortunantly, Jessica Fermo is attending an actual event with actual people. I am friendless, at least I believe I am. I hardly attend parties ! What kind of teenager am I, the worst example of one. I hate admiting this, but I think I am that loser that you always see in the library reading books with a bunch of bookworms because social circles are cruel ! I Jessica Fermo will not be taking any part of social cruelty ! I will include everyone I can, and I will include myself- even if it hurts. Wow, that's an impossible dream. Maybe I should quit school in all and continue that dream of mine of ever becoming famous in Hollywood, lets pray that happens SOON.

HOLLYWOOD, welcome Jessica to your club !

I have a new obsession with some new bands; the veronicas (I am in love with them!), Push Play, Varsity Fanclub (they're hilairs), and Honor Society has a place in my heart officially. Currently, I am engrosed in the song When it all falls apart by the Veronicas, they are massive cool !

So my sister left our house like 2 hours ago, and I have acheived NOTHING ! NOTHING at all. This is unfortunante. I will be M.I.A for a couple of days, deff not from you, but from the whole school community, writing anoynymous messages WAS fun but now its just so unfortunante, oh so very unfortunante.

Lately, I have been building up my fanfic once more, it's almost ending ! YAY ! It's a way for my fantasy to meet reality, I'm just a big creep in a world of noncreeps, see how that works ? I'm the odd one !

I'm so very blessed with bad blessings, and I'm counting them ! Why did my mother tell me to count my blessings ?! well, goodbye for now ! thanks for listening to my great venting !

I'M FINALLY FREEEEEEEEEEEE !

NO MORE EXAMS !
This asian brain doesn't need anymore refueling !
THANK YOU JESUS !
Honesty boxes are frustrating.
I get these creep messages and I don't know who it is.
gaah, help me out !
anyways, me being asian and all, seemed to have completed all exams before the time was up, wow, I'm such a nerd.
Look at this asian, I'm going to hack my computer and find out who this freaking creep person is !
YAY for asian brains !

This asian brain needs it's fuels !

Well, I'm most likely not the smartest asian you've ever meet, but I am trying ! Give me some credit for that! Well, forgetting your exam review AND textbook is not smart at all, especially when your exam is the next day and one of the hardest exams for grade nine. This sucks, but I'm coping... Gaah, I do enjoy drawing male reproductive systems over and over and labeling them. I also very much like to label plant's private parts, did you know that pollen is sperm ? Good thing I'm allergic to pollen, wait, does that mean I'm allergic to sperm ? I'm studying hard supprisingly, I'm scared of failing, I think. But my mother would like me to fold the laundry than get a good mark on my exam. I really need the luck of the Irish for this one! Lets hope that a four leaf clover will pop out of no where or that I don't see any black cats, although, I'm not superstitious, but who cares?! I'll need all the luck ! NO SLACKING TONIGHT. NONE AT ALL. Who cares if your mother spazzes at you constantly ? I deff don't, well, that it until she hits me.....

Inside out.

I should be sleeping, studying or worrying about exams. Except, I'm the exact opposite. So he seems to show up everywhere now a days. It's not even cool how much I embarrass myself, due to his presence. Uggh, okay, study study study ! Forget everything else. Try to get at least 80% on your exam- oh wait, that's impossible.... Oh Goodness, exams, you'll be the death of me !

End of the year goal : make honor roll :)

Even if we're miles and miles apart, you're still holding on to my heart.

UGGGGH, do you know that you kill me ? I thought I was so over that era but now it's come back to creep me. Jessica Fermo has got her obsession back, yay ? Well, I guess it was so much stronger last time, but it's growing back. Not once did I forget everything that I have been through with 3 boys that don't even know me. Well, thats okay if I sound like a creep, I always seem like I do. Anyways, they are the only people that can make me smile when I am sad and lonely, the only people that make me truly happy, they are one of the only people that inspire me for better. I am going to stay commited to this, I don't care. I love every passion burning inside me, I love KENIJOFRA, their great parents that raised such great boys, I love Big Rob and JT, Garbo, Ryan and Lawless. I truly love Mama and Papa J, truly truly truly. And no matter what, I will make that dream come true, that goal that no one knows about, I will succeed. As for now, I should be studying my periodic table for my exam, since a 8 year old knows his better than I do !

new beggings are closer to old ends.

You know how you get split ends in your hair ? And then you have to cut them off, and wait for them to grow back ? Well, sometimes the waiting process takes a while. Sometimes you have to wait a very long time for something to happen, and in the end, if it's meant to be, something will happen. Currently, I am very angry at my blog template, I do not like it at all. I would much rather go back to the ones they gave you and just crawl up in my bed and study than worry about my over-obsessive blogging ways. I tend to be obsessive, by just a tad. I thought I lost my obsession with three beautiful boys +one, but that came back, YAY ! Okay, well, I am going to continue the garbage that I call a fanfic on my other other blog.

Even superhero's have those kind of days.

well, dear blogger o'mine. Today was one of those days. You know those off days that you wish never happened ? That was today. So, I guess it sort of reflected on my body language or whatever since I was constantly tripping, falling and what not. To add to the pile of emoness, I tripped on a freaking ORANGE PEEL, fell, almost hit my head, but grabbed the end of the bench just in time, but unfortunately it was in front of the WHOLE cafeteria. I'm probably the biggest klutz you'll ever meet, but I wish I was lying, unfortunately I'm not. I'm glad that I can amuse others with my embarrassment, but I hate how it constantly happens. Well, wish me luck, I'll probably end up with a cast very, very soon.

If only everyone had a mind like a five year old.

Little girls make everyone feel good about themselves. They don't picture you ugly, fat, weird or any other bad thing about you. They picture you as you, of your personality. Well, if everyone could just be able to do what a little girl does, I think the world would be perfect. I like it when they draw pictures of you, sure it's not the best picture of a person you've ever seen, but at least they don't capture all the negative in you !

Having fun, isn't hard, when you got a library card.

But I don't have one, because it is no fun here. Currently, I am entertaining myself by sending emails to various people that seem to be sitting around me anyways. I'm almost done my newspaper, okay, I'm not even close. Still, I'm almost there, shhhh. I'm so so so so so very bored. The library is no fun- at least when you DON'T have a library card.

another downside to a very very dramatic week.

So today dear blog, I pretty much died. I got sick in front of my whole class, greaaaat. And I would like to make a public apology to TANJANA ISLAM, shes really cool and doesn't deserve such an uncool friend like me. I got to go home early today, and I missed school. I'm happy but super worried since exams are coming up and I'm at home barfing my guts out. kill me. This sucks terribly, I had a very very horrible day. I would very much just like to crawl up into a ball and sleep, like I have been doing this whole day. Sick days suck, they're not as fun as people think they are. And please allow me to apologize if I am grossing you out, I don't mean too. So basically, all I'm trying to say blog, is that life is very cruel and insensitive, and that roller coaster ride of life that I am on, MAKES ME SICK.

Live through this, and you won't look back.

http://thememoirsofanongeisha.blogspot.com/
http://thememoirsofanongeisha.blogspot.com/
http://thememoirsofanongeisha.blogspot.com/
http://thememoirsofanongeisha.blogspot.com/
http://thememoirsofanongeisha.blogspot.com/
http://thememoirsofanongeisha.blogspot.com/
http://thememoirsofanongeisha.blogspot.com/
http://thememoirsofanongeisha.blogspot.com/
http://thememoirsofanongeisha.blogspot.com/
http://thememoirsofanongeisha.blogspot.com/

check it out ?

Hello world !

currently I am in english class typing my "english culminating assignment". We are in the computer lab and I am very very bored at the moment. I do not know what exactly to type for my culminating. Currently Tanjana is sitting beside me saying how cool she is, which is a huge lie. My teacher is making a huge speech on how we should not be on the internet or playing any "games". Oh goodness, don't you enjoy reading my boredom ? I enjoy exposing it to the great society and public like you. I highly doubt any of my "stalkers" actually stalk my blog, it's kind of blech. Well we took another long way and holy gee, I think I'm going to go crazy, but I already am...

hello fellow super beings !

I don't believe we exactly welcomed any of the newcomers to my blog properly !
So lets welcome Jenn and Patrick ! Yay ?! well, have fun creeping me !
Okay, back to business, I finally finished a song, with like music and all ! but it sucks so....
I'm kind of annoyed that I still don't have a guidance appointment, gaarh. I should change my last name so it starts with like a Z or something not too common. I'm doing homework and I am currently stuck on the decision on what to name my newspaper for my culminating. Each day I get more and more stressed about the upcoming exams. It's really starting to bother me, I don't feel ready at all. Yesterday, through my anger, I was very very angry, and I well gaah. This sucks. Let's hope those emotional (and physical) scars heal ! Wish me luck ! I'm hardly going to be posting this week, along with next week due to all the studying I shall be doing. Since exams start FRIDAY ! ARRGH, now I'm officially terrified. I need a fourleaf clover. G'bye !

you're way too cool.

blech, thats how I feel blogger, just blech.
Life is currently getting better, it was terrible before, but it's okay now I guess...
I think I have issues, or maybe I'm just an overhopeful dreamer.

ps. http://thememoirsofanongeisha.blogspot.com/

Try to find the way, but the way is gone.

Hello there Blogspot.
May I ask, How are you doing this fine evening ?
Well, currently, I am wearing (sortof) a "cape".
I feel more like a super hero this way.
If you haven't gotten a chance to check out my sisters beautiful blog, be sure to do so !
I slept for a long long long time last night.
I'm still as tired as can be.
Goodnight, although I probably aren't sleeping yet.

Ps. http://strawberrysandchampagne.blogspot.com/

Hey Kiddies !

Hello there fellow bloggers and stalkers !
So my sister has created yet another "feeling basket" so if you'd like, you may check it out:
http://strawberrysandchampagne.blogspot.com/

thanks !

This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin.

Exams. One week. I think this is a sign that I am starting to panic. Although, I feel pretty down to earth about it, I don't seem to care about them... yet. I'm pretty sure that pretty soon I'll have a major panic attack and get a heart attack, die and I won't have to do exams ! Garrh, the stress is starting to kill me. And I'm sorry if you guys can't leave comments- not that you'll want to- I'll try to resolve that soon. wish me luck ? I'm going nerd all of next week/weekend.

Hey Stalkers !

Feel free to check out yet another memoir,also by me, http://thememoirsofanongeisha.blogspot.com/
Enjoy !

God, that was strange to see you again.

HELLO.
I think the show,for us atleast, well me, was pretty much EPICfail. bleeh, it was good I guess. Any emo-ish thoughts today ? Suprisingly, no. Well, I believe not. Maybe later, but I'd post that on my other blog :D. It was nice to see some old people from elementary. That was hmm, refreshing ? I'm still pretty dead from the show. I love my english teacher for giving me that extention on the assignment! Well, I'm gone for now. Goodbye World !

you shine as bright as a light when it's off.

So there's this arts concert tonight, with the title of Kaleidoscope.And I have to play the flute, which I have to admit, I don't really know how to play. Sure, I've been playing it for about 3 months now, but do you really expect me to be super amazing because I don't. I don't know, I'm pretty sure if all the rest of the band wasn't there, I would suck. I would suck more than -30 degrees in the summer time. Well, I have to go now, to the concert. Yay! Suckish playing here I come !

Dear Patrick Famaran, (and rania-ish)

BAM, YOU. :D


HEART.


EYE.


OHMYGASH, when I see you in the halls I make this face.


I'm sad that I can't be as cool as you.


You're so cool, you have super hero abilities to make me smile.


This ones for YOU !
I told you that it'd be better than Ranias !
Well, I hope it is at least.
So, I figured that why not go with sayings ?
As they say "a picture is worth a thousand words".
so, enjoy.
BFFL YOOO ! :D

PS. READ DOWN - UP !

so the adventures begin.

goodbye..... vegetarianism :(
gaarh, hard hard desicion.
for the best ? I hope so.
I'm saying HELLO to meat
and goodbye to being a veggie.
Hey, at least I lasted... a while....

these wounds are self inflicted.

well, the new name will have to do for now I guess.
I don't like it much.
blaah.
Once blog address season comes back up, the name will probably change again...
grrr, I spent practically more than an HOUR(!?) trying to pick a new name for my blog.
that is crazy.
wow.

enjoy it, because I won't.
*Jessica.

ps. any comments on a new name ?

give me 10, 000 nights of thunder !

well, as you can see;
I found out how to change my template.
special thanks to RANIA, shes superasian.
:D

Hopefully it's a snowday tomorrow !
please, please, please !
I just realized, today, that I'm terrified of public speaking.
wow, what a loser.

another night waiting for someone to take me home.

Have you ever been so lost ?
sorry.
BLAH, I'm confused.
life is humiliating, well, I guess I put it on myself.
I'm taking of the mask.
And I'm gonna be myself ? kapesh ? kapesh.

HI.

I'm slacking... again.
and it is very unfortunate.
I'm almost done ONE assignment.
ugggggggggggggh.
okay, I'm gonna finish it.
goodbye for now !

it's a sin to kill a mockingbird.

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLA.
Major slacking ? OF COURSE.
I have THREE culminating projects to don and I have THREE oh, TWO days to do them ?!
great.
New Years Resolution ?
NO MORE SLACKING !

'09 ?

wow, it's here already !
Well, last nights allnighter went well.
It was actually pretty fun.
I guess it was kinda awkward at times, but still, I guess I enjoyed it.

We played laser tag.....alot.
I didn't really feel tired until I got home.
So, well, once again ;
HAPPY NEW YEAR !